What you wish they knew.

I’m 16 years old and  I have 3 brothers, one little sister. Age 15,13,5,3. I live in the USA. And things in my life are not quite right. Theres several things that makes me feel either bad/sad/depress/or just like shit. And I would LOVE to let my mom(stepdad too,why not) know how I feel! And well this is my secret!!!

My so called “mom” and “stepdad” are the reasons why. I cant stand them  MOST OF THE TIMES. They’re not normal parents. They sometimes cares about me( or whenever they feels like to) they don’t  pay attention to whatever I have to say. They both have  issues, and well I feel bad saying this about them, but it’s true! 

#1. Having 5 childs. Yes is hard but they dont treat them(us) right. We (and mostly me) suffer from fAVORITISM! And I hate that(who wouldn’t). And I really cannot understand them. Why would they  let one of us go to whatever place ,but not let the others go with him or somewhere else???why? Cause they both have their favorite! I started to see this when I was what? 13. They would let my brother(younger than me,15yrs old) go to whatever party he wanted to go( not to mention there was alcohol in those partied) anyways she would let him go out and do WHATEVER HE LIKES! 

I never asked her why? Why would he have a favorite when she could have 5 why?

#2.   Do you even know how i feel whenever you make me do things that I can’t do? Well I just  feel worthless.yea I feel worthless, is nothing bad as you know. is whatever as you always say!  but am always like whatever am gonna Be out of their view sooner or later!  cause no one receives love besides just one of us/: yea sad!!!

A child needs to feel loved and cherished.WHICH MY MOM/STEPDAD NEEDS TO KNOW! Why? Why would you make me feel worthless? Not wanted? Why?

#3. Most children/teens are victim or verbal abuse. Hey am one of them :D haha And well yea i just want to know why would you be cursing at me ? How do you feel whenever you insult me?whenever you call me names? Am just wondering! I don’t expect an answer
As usual!

#4 how does it feel having the “perfect Mexican husband” mom? If He thinks he sooo franking perfect then why doesn’t he has a better job?better vocabulary? Did he even went to school? Oh yea congrats with an abusive husband mom!!!:D do you even know he hits their childs??I mean I could call the police,when ever he does that!but you’ll hate me forever so!!!……. Wait I don’t even care anymore next Time I see him hit my lil bros YOU’RE GOIN BACK TO MEJICO YOU BITCH!!!-.-

#5 Every time, Every freaking time YOU hit me! I lose respect with you! And well you’re almost at the limit mom!!! Why would you hit us kmom? Do you feel any better when you do it? You’re does it makes you happy seeing us suffer? Hmm 

#6 mom when did I ever failed you? Just tell me.whe? I really hate the fact that you can’t trust me! And well you lost my trust a long time ago! And well hopefully you remember why?:)  but yea I’ve lost all respect I had with you! With your husband too don’t worry,Haha he would think am a drug dealer-.-SMH did he even notice I was a swim team??? 

#7 oh yea I just wanted to remind you what a  bad kid I am, your husband accused me of smoking which I think is ridicule-.- but yet you Belived him, oh yea mom am a bad kid at school, i slack and get in trouble every freaking time, maybe you right maybe that’s why my grades ” A+, B+ “are soo bad but don’t worry I’ll do better that that!ill promise mom!!! And oh thanks for congrat me for passing that bigasstest  I had to pass in Order to graduate :D thanks mom for being always there:)thank you soo much I love you!!!

#8 one things that pissed me off(besides of all the above) is  Being compared to people!!! for REAL mom, if you want me to be LIKE another kid, then just get rid of me and adopt that kid you like so much!!! 

#9 I could just keep going but I’ll stop!!! You both give me headaches, that sooner or later I’ll die from them. I really can’t stand both f you! At all! 
Why can’t you both be like the typical “parents”. Why would you hit you child? Why would you have a favorite child  when you could have 5? 

Honestly YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE CALLED “mom” and the same thing goes to your husband!!!!A child needs to feel loved and cherished. They dont need to get beat, you’re just hurting them, in an emotional and physician way! WHICH MY MOM/STEPDAD NEEDS TO KNOW! Why? Why would you make me feel worthless? Not wanted? Why?

My best friend, my crush and I, were all best friends and I had always been told my crush liked me back, but just couldn’t say anything to me about it, because he was shy. My best friend, knew from the start that I liked him so much it hurt. Then, I started noticing them getting closer and closer, and me being pushed further and further from them, talking to them less and less. They would text 24/7 and I would be lucky if I talked to him for 10 minutes every few days. My best friend would always mention him in situations, that were irrelevant to him, or anything to do with him. My instincts told me something was going on, but I refused to think anything of it, and put my thoughts down to insecurities about people not telling me things, or lying to me.

It was coming up to my best friend’s birthday, and mine the day after. She is one day older than me. I had planned this huge surprise for her, as her birthday present, just to show her how much I love her. She loved it! I had been told, that my crush was planning to do something special for my birthday… Just for me. The day came, and sure enough, he sang me happy birthday and blew me kisses and made me feel like I was on cloud nine. 

It all went downhill from there.

A group chat on kik messenger, one Friday night with my best friend, and my crush, starting off totally normal, and ending up with me crying in a heap on the floor.

It was three days after my birthday, and everything was great! My best friend and I, were chatting with my crush, and everything seemed normal. They had wanted to tell me something for days prior to this conversation, but never told me. I had always assumed it was something to do with my birthday gift, or something similar. Then, my crush asked me to go on a private chat because he wanted to talk to me. I thought, “this is it… He’s going to ask me out”. Brief messages began on a private chat…

And then the bomb dropped.

He told me, he had feelings for my best friend. I literally felt that heart wrenching pain, and then… nothing. Everything went so numb, I couldn’t hear anything but pounding of my heartbeat, in my ears. I mean, why wouldn’t he like her? She’s perfect. She’s talented, and pretty, and kind, and funny. Everything I want to be. She’s better than me, at EVERYTHING, and I’ll admit, she likes to remind me of it, but at the same time, she has been there for me through dark times in my life, where I’ve struggled, and for that I put my trust in her completely.

My crush didn’t want me to say anything to her about it, because he didn’t know how she truly felt about him… What could I say? I lied my ass off and said it was cute, and I was so happy for him, when really I wanted to scream. In the end, I had to tell her, and she seemed so shocked at first. She said how terrible she felt, and I told her, that I sensed he liked her anyway. It felt like I was being punched in the gut, and slapped across the face all at once.

She told me she liked him too.

My jaw literally dropped, when I saw those words sent to me. I told her, it was okay to like him, and I didn’t mind because clearly my feelings for him weren’t reciprocated. We returned to group chat, and she told him she knew what he had said… And the truth, spilled out.

It turns out, they had been dating since 6 days before my birthday, and never told me. They said they “didn’t want to hurt me, by telling me”. They decided i deserved the truth after all. My crush made me feel so special, and all the signs were that he liked me… My best friend even told me things that he said about me, so the fact that she would date him behind my back, hurt even more.. I gave them my blessing to date, because I felt I was in the way, of them being happy together, when all I really wanted to do was cry.

I forgave them for lying, because I know somehow they didn’t want to hurt me, even though that was the outcome. Things are awkward, and I haven’t spoken to my crush since that night. My best friend and I, have spoken on the phone, and I have cried, and she has apologized countless times, for hurting me, and I HAVE forgiven her, but I just can’t trust her the same. She feels things will never be the same, but i just hope I can learn to trust her again, before we lose the friendship completely, because I NEED her in my life.

I just feel like, because she lied so much, and was so good at it, I don’t know if I could trust her enough to know, that she wouldn’t lie, or deceive me again.

I just want my best friend back.

So we all know that prom’s coming up pr has even passed for some people. You see people all around you talking about their dresses, limo’s hair, and dates. Pretty much everyone gets a date to prom right? Up until now I saw all of my friends get asked by guys in really cute ways and get dates. It makes me think why I wasn’t able to get a date. Is something wrong with me? I never thought much about getting a date until today, and now it’s all I can think about. I probably sound snobby or stuck up for wondering why no guy would want to ask the girl that I think is wonderful and funny on the inside. But, all people see of me is the girl who has a speech problem. Is it my fault that guys don’t like me? Am I mean? Am I ugly? IS it because of my speech problem? Is it me?

I know this may make me sound like a bad person, but I left my friends because they were constantly putting me down. I always had to be the sunshine in the rain, an in the end it was becoming to hard. I am still good friends with them to this day, but now I have a new group of friends, happy friends, and I love it. 

Hello Joy! I’m glad a few words from my side made ye smile. Well, I’m travelling in a 22 yr old body of a girl who was born in Muscat-Oman in October, 1989; who has also done two years of high school in the native place: Kutch-India and who is currently pursuing a course in Architecture past 5 years here at Mumbai. Anyway, if this makes you feel better- I’m called by the name of Reema Khudkhudia and I’m straight as far as I know (just in case Steve wonders if am hitting on ye or anything of the sorts) All said, I’d also like you to know that I truly appreciate the existence on Earth of the two of you awesomely honest and lovely human beings who by just being yourselves inspire and give courage to others to be themselves too! Lots of love and respect, Captain Thunderbolt; well-wisher who’s watchin’ out for awesomely genuine people. Krishna shower blessings!

PS: Looks don’t matter to me as much as the spirit cos if the spirit is clear, it’ll automatically reflect- so worry not! Smile On!

Hello Joy! I’d just like to tell you how beautiful you really are. Proof: Any human being who has the thought and care to create a wonderful healing site like this for the broken and the torn and the old parts of us all has got to be beautiful! Don’t ya think?

Reply: Why, thank you. This made me smile a lot! I wouldn’t say I’m beautiful, I never will. However, I’m glad you think I am :) ♥ What’s your name? 

Sometimes I feel like getting back with my current boyfriend was a mistake because I feel as though I have really strong feelings for someone else and I have no idea what to do. 
The other person is moving away for a year in September, and its probable I won’t see them again is it worth breaking up with someone over? I feel so confused because when I finally feel like I’m over this guy I become so sad, its as though I need his positivity to be happy.
My current boyfriend is really negative and it brings me down because I am also quite negative, and although I do really like him, is it worth trying again if I still have such strong feelings for someone? I also feel that if I broke up with him again it would crush him, it would hurt me but I don’t think I can go through this.
A lot of people say I’m being disrespectful to my boyfriend by going to see this other guy, but I can’t go without seeing him, because he still does make me feel so happy. I’m so confused and it breaks my heart.

We promised each other that if by the time I was 27 and he was 30 we weren’t married we would marry each other, we pinky promised so we can’t break it, but the thing is recently I feel as though all I want is him. But I can’t have him because he’s Christian and I’m not.

My mum saw the cuts on my arms.

I told her it was a while ago, that I had stopped, that they weren’t very deep.

All she said was “deep enough” and hugged me. I love her for that.

Then I ran to my room and vomitted in the bin because I was so panicked.

I am so glad that I got the chance to meet you. You have changed my life so much. We both are two broken people, but together, we just might be able to help each other pick the pieces back up and put them back together. I’m so glad we are now true friends, and not just friends on a pretense of wanting one thing. Someday, I hope I get to see myself in the light you see me, and I hope someday you’ll see yourself the way I see you.